Why is it bad to say calm down?

The phrase “calm down” is controlling, dismissive, and suggests a person’s feelings are invalid. It can also exacerbate anxiety. I know when someone tells me to “calm down” when I feel upset, my mind races even more. Telling your child to “calm down” also doesn’t encourage growth or promote healthy coping skills.

Why do I get so mad when someone tells me to calm down?

Uh, because if someone with anxiety or an actual issue they’re “freaking out” about, being told to calm down implies that it’s their fault they feel that way or that they’re totally out of line for speaking up or being upset. It’s like you’re being told that you can’t control your feelings, when you totally can.

What can I say instead of calming down?

5 More Helpful Things to Say Than “Calm Down”

• “I understand this is upsetting.”
• “It’s hard for me to talk with you when things feel this intense.”
• “I am going to pause for a moment to slow things down.”
• “I’m here with you in this.”
• “How can I help us move through this?”

How do you tell someone to chill?

Here is what you can say:

1. Cool your jets/pits! ← This is a bit 1980’s or 1990’s sounding.
2. Give it a rest! ← It means “Calm down” or “Don’t be so aggressive.”
3. Hold your horses← This is more like 1880’s sounding!
4. Keep your shirt on!
5. Loosen up!
6. Simmer down!
7. Take a chill pill!

Is telling someone to chill rude?

In the article Never Tell Someone to Chill-Out, Relax by princeflorence writes: Telling a person to– ‘relax’, ‘calm down’, ‘chill-out’… are directives that are in some way trying to manipulative a person’s line of thinking… it’s telling another person to act differently because their behavior makes you feel …

Is it rude to say calm down?

It’s so, so important to speak up when someone steps over the line, no matter how little it may seem. It’s insulting to be told to calm down, and it’s okay to let the perpetrator know that.

Is saying calm down rude?

Is saying relax rude?

“Relax” and “Calm down” indicate that a person seems stressed out and you’re implying that this is unnecessary. It’s like saying that they’re being overly emotional and have a lack of self control. Not only this, but you’re ordering them.

Why you shouldn’t tell a girl to chill?

It insinuates she’s crazy. By telling a woman to relax, you are basically telling her that the way she is feeling is unjustified. You’re saying the way she feels is completely wrong and that the situation at hand far from merits this reaction.

Is it bad to tell a girl to calm down?

So when you tell her to relax, you’re implying that your response—i.e., nothing—is correct. You’re denying that there’s a reason to be upset. You’re telling her she’s crazy. Women may sometimes feel crazy and joke about it, but anything smacking of accusations of being crazy will be far from soothing.

Is it okay to say “Calm Down” to someone who is upset?

If you feel the urge to say “calm down,” it’s helpful to notice that you as you see and feel the person in front who is visibly upset, you may be feeling a shift in your emotions. You’d be justified in wishing you could stay calm. Especially when you’re experiencing the other person is so palpably agitated.

How to deal with an upset person in front of You?

When you see that you’ve got an upset person in front of you, first do some self-care to calm yourself : Take a few long, slow, deep breaths. Let them out slowly, to relax yourself. If you’re feeling shaky, feel the solidity of your feet on the ground. Stand up or sit up a bit straighter to boost your confidence.

Is it rude to tell someone to calm down at work?

Saying to an emotionally distraught, visibly upset employee, co-worker, or client “Calm down,” only adds more fuel — in the form of shame — to that person’s emotional state. It’s not only rude, but a subtle form of gaslighting.

How do you tell someone to calm down after an argument?

Tell them, “Please do not tell me to calm down. It is dismissive and suggests my opinions and feelings are invalid.” The other person may not listen, but at the very least, you can exit the argument or discussion knowing you stood up for yourself.