Why is my dad picking on me?

He may have many reasons for picking on you. He may be stressed at work, or he may simply not realize how the behavior was making you feel. For example, your father may say something like, “I thought it was just lighthearted teasing. I didn’t realize it was hurting your feelings.”

Why did my real dad leave me?

There are a variety of reasons for him leaving. Maybe the pressure of providing for his family was more than he could handle. It takes a lot to be a parent. Maybe he and your Mom fought too much and he feels the family would be better off without him as to stop the fighting.

Do you behave as if you like your dad?

You don’t have to behave as if you like your dad. Psychotherapist Lorraine Davies-Smith ( psychotherapy.org.uk) wondered if describing your dad’s behaviour as “textbook” was a way to make it feel less personal. “If you believe your father was one of a generation of men who acted this way then [you can imagine] it’s not his fault, or your fault.”

Is it your responsibility to deal with your dad’s issues?

Your dad’s issues are not your responsibility, says Annalisa Barbieri. His constant eroding of your self-esteem is entirely a reflection of him ‘Harmful behaviour from a parent can take longer to see because we are programmed to love them and seek their approval.’ Illustration: Lo Cole/The Guardian

Do you trust your own feelings about your father?

It’s hard to trust your own feelings when people told you your father was “great” but if he didn’t take out his issues on them, they wouldn’t have seen that side of his personality. You’re entitled to your own opinion of him.

What does dad say is the proudest He has ever been?

Dad had said he would not help but we all knew that anyway. Dad told him that this was the proudest he had ever been of him. Not the great accomplishments of his life, just that he never asked for help and he made it through high school. Don’t get me wrong, I can see it making a Dad proud but this typifies my Dad.