Can forgiveness be selfish?

The act of forgiving, then, is never selfish. A focus on the consequences for the self need not be seen as selfish in this context, but instead as self-interested.

Is it selfish to ask for forgiveness?

Yes. Just not for the recipient of that apology. That’s why a blanket apology can seem so self-serving or even selfish: you’re asking something of someone that appears to be a gesture about them, but is really about you and for yourself.

What does it mean to forgive someone but choose not to have them in your life?

But forgiveness doesn’t mean you need to keep that person in your life. You can forgive someone for breaking your heart. You can forgive someone for abandoning you in a time of need, for walking away, for not putting you first, for letting you go. But that doesn’t mean you trust that person again.

Why is forgiveness selfish?

I say that forgiveness is selfish because forgiveness effects the self, the one who is actively doing the forgiving the most. And let’s face it, just because we forgive someone doesn’t mean they’re going to get the message. They may very well be stuck in their patterned hell of infliction no matter what we do for them.

Is it wrong to ask for forgiveness?

Asking for forgiveness doesn’t give you the right to demand forgiveness. When you say sorry, you’re giving the other person a chance to consider their feelings, and react to your apology as they see fit.

What is true forgiveness in the Bible?

Forgiveness, according to the Bible, is correctly understood as God’s promise not to count our sins against us. Biblical forgiveness requires repentance on our part (turning away from our old life of sin) and faith in Jesus Christ.

Why is forgiveness a virtue?

It argues that forgiveness can be seen as a healing virtue since it has a capacity to free an individual from being consumed by anger, check one’s tendency toward cruelty, and open doors to the restoration of broken relationships.

Is forgiveness a choice?

Forgiving someone is not a warm, fuzzy feeling ( more on that in a minute ), rather we make a choice to forgive. If we don’t believe forgiveness is a choice, the ability to forgive can seem out of our control. But be assured, if God calls you to it – you can do it!

Do you always have to tell someone you have forgiven them?

We don’t always have to tell them we have forgiven them. Self-righteously announcing our gracious forgiveness to someone who has not asked to be forgiven may be a manipulation to make them feel guilty. It also is a form of pride. Withholding forgiveness is a refusal to let go of perceived power.

Is forgiving self-healing?

It also reveals the way that people’s thoughts about forgiveness shape their view of its utility. There is also one perspective of forgiveness that might surprise many people: Forgiving is not a kind, selfless act. Rather, it is about self-healing, self-empowerment and self-liberation.

Why do we withhold forgiveness from others?

Self-righteously announcing our gracious forgiveness to someone who has not asked to be forgiven may be a manipulation to make them feel guilty. It also is a form of pride. Withholding forgiveness is a refusal to let go of perceived power.