Why do I feel like I always have to please my parents?

A lack of parental attunement is a big part of what causes people pleasing. Many times, parents of people pleasers are too worried about their own troubles to tune in to what their children are feeling and thinking. Or they may frequently mislabel or misinterpret their child’s signals and feelings.

Why am I such a pleaser?

Poor self-esteem: Sometimes people engage in people-pleasing behavior because they don’t value their own desires and needs. Due to a lack of self-confidence, people-pleasers have a need for external validation, and they may feel that doing things for others will lead to approval and acceptance.

How should parents deal with children who don’t have the same characteristics?

Parents should strive to take their own egos out of the equation and instead focus on what the child needs. Just because a child does not have the same characteristics as their parents does not mean they are a failure that needs correcting. A good strategy is to encourage children to develop their own personality and voice.

Do parents really know what is best for their children?

There are parents who believe that they know what is best for their children. They plan their children’s life from birth to marriage to career and beyond. They believe that they are making their kids’ lives easier and less stressful.

Why do parents compare their children to each other?

Parents often believe that if they extol the positive characteristics of siblings and other children to their so-called errant child, their own child will improve. Often, the comparison does the opposite. Those who are constantly compared to others have a diminished sense of individuality and ultimately come to believe that they are worthless.

What will happen if a parent does nothing?

So if a parent does nothing, their children will become quite schooled in the dark arts of self-indulgence. Therefore, parents must constrain their children to right behavior. In time their moral understanding will develop and they will begin to choose good, even when it is contrary to their carnal desires.